Pre-Exam Rambles

I know it's been awhile since I last posted up something. Well, the fact is, I'm actually trying to study really hard to score well for my exams. It's a first for me really. A first in staying up till the wee hours of the morning, sometimes to even catch the sunrise, with my head in the books. A first on living on chocolate bars, tim tams, energy drinks and minimal sleep. Thank God this only happens when exams are around the corner. On the flipside, I wouldn't have to go through such rigorous study regimes if I'd actually starting really studying and doing notes from day 1 of the semester. Still having that same old problem of procrastination. Sneaky little parasite it is.

It's funny how all this change is coming to me when I'm so far away from home; where I am not under any supervision or scrutiny of anyone. In hindsight, I always remember my mom telling me how is she going to let me go overseas if I don't buck up in my studies. Studies weren't exactly my forte. Yeah I got through my education so far and in some instances, only possible with I believe, some sort of divine intervention (No kidding!!). But yes, I digress. The freedom of doing whatever I want without ever having to be accountable to a parent would have been a grave and very valid fear based on my easy-go-lucky behaviour. The fact that I'm in Tassie now at least shows that I did not go down the pipes. Still scraping through exams and still living under the grace of God.

I admit that there has been a gradual change for the better since I left home. What I am still struggling to comprehend is the exponential change in my attitude to my studies ever since I got to Tassie. I've always told myself that passing is fine and I don't mind passing and just getting my degree. Karpal Singh wasn't a very bright law student but look at him now. That USED to be my attitude. Now, I really do take my studies on a more serious note; almost to a competitive, short of kiasu, level. I should probably mention that Clarice has been a significant influence in moulding the degree of change that has been happening. My mom would call this a positive influence for the better. I don't know what to call it. I know this is supposed to be a good thing but I do hate this feeling of trying to always look for ways to get an edge over everyone. I have to keep telling myself that this is not a competition and I really want everyone to win. It's a constant struggle though.

Heck, I'm still trying to grasp this new attitude. It's not easy after so many years of living on a "hakuna matata" wave to carry you through college. This is yet another journey of discovery and I do feel like this is going to be one long journey. Guess this is where my thoughts end. The time now is 3am. Getting back to work.