Her

You see her. "What a surprise!" are the first words that cross your mind. You can't help but whip up a smile. She sees your smile and she replies with a smile. You walk up to her, trying to act all cool, calm and collected. After all, it's been ages since you last saw her. You extend your hand for a welcoming hand shake. She shakes your hand and you begin to talk as if you've been the best of friends. Who knew she would be at the beach as well. You ask her if she's alone. Someone like her would not have come alone, even if she wanted to. Yes, she was pretty. Her fair skin gently reflected the sunlight and her dyed brown hair shone under the sun. Her green summer dress hugged her figure nicely, revealing enough to make most eyes turn. Her matching hat cast a shadow that hid her face, almost in a mysterious way.

Someone calls out form behind. A man approaches calling her name. She turns to give him a hug and introduces him to you. "But of course!" rings through your head. Of course she would not have come here alone. You hide your surprise by extending a handshake. Ah.. as you shake his hand you feel a little tugging in your heart. You quickly shrug the feeling away. You know that you have no right to feel like that. They ask for their leave and you bid them goodbye. You wander around the stretch of beach like a lost kid. You are flooded with memories of the past. You can't help but look down to the passing pavement tiles as you recall you and her.

You hear a bell. You look up to see the ice cream man scooping a generous scoop of ice cream for a pretty lady. You take a second look only to find that it's her. You cannot believe your eyes. You quickly go over to say hi again. You tap her on the shoulder. She turns and looks at you. You put on a warm smile but this time she looks at you with piercing eyes that stare deep. A feeling of guilt and embarrassment come over you like a curtain being dropped over your body. She walks away and you chase her, grabbing her hand before she walks too far off. She tugs her hand away and you do nothing but let it go. You desperately ask why she's acting the way she is. You tell her how good it is to see her again but she does not seem any bit interested. You persist with why she's acting up all of a sudden. She was fine a moment before but now it seems like you have done something wrong to her.

It then hits you. Your past looms over like a dark shadow in the night. You feel weak and flushed. You can't help but cover your face with your hand. You hear footsteps and you see the same man that she hugged. She walks off into the sun with the ice cream still in her hand. You ask the man "Is she still mad about the last time?" The man replies "What do you think? Of course she still is."

Just as he finishes answering, you open your eyes. It was just a dream. Is this the past haunting you? You don't know but you get up hoping for the best. Hoping for the best for her, wherever she may be.

First Outing - Tassie Tour

Today was nothing short of eventful and freezing (thanks Jo for organizing!!):

1) A farm visit in Richmond,

2) A barbecue down at the river (don't remember what the name of the river was),

3) Had a long black (4 shots) in Richmond town,

4) Went strawberry picking in Sorell,

5) Had dinner (good chardonnay) and music at the Jazz festival in Hobart,

6) And finally a get together/joke session at Westpoint after the festival.

This is what happens when you spend time with the OCF here in Hobart. I quote a friend, "If you hang out with us guys, you'll do in one semester what other people take to do in two years." Yes, very happening bunch. It's going to be an interesting 2 years here.

Laundry

There's something about laundry in the morning. Now you've got to work with me here with the imagination a little. Picture your laundry when it's just out off the dryer. You get this clean, fresh smell the moment you open the door of the dryer. You take a sniff at your warm clothes, and it just makes your eyes close. Kind off like smelling freshly baked bread or cookies that make you go "mmm". (I know the rest of you people do that too so don't call me weird!!) Okay.. so it MAY just be me that has this weird sensation but you've got to at least try it one day.

Speaking of laundry, while I was having my "laundry moment", I made a new friend. It's pretty interesting that she doesn't really know where she's from. I know you can be super mixed and banana-ed and all but you've got to at least know where you're roots are. Well the low down was that she was born in Selangor, brought up in Singapore, but goes back to Penang. Didn't really ask what she meant by "go back". I think it means CNY or something to that effect. In this case, since she WAS brought up in Singapore, then she's Singaporean. Should probably tell her that when I see her again.

It's been a good start of the day.

Off Guard

Lesson learnt: Be careful when you let your guard down because some people might just take that opportunity to give you a super big wedgie. Ouchies!!

And I Feel Like I Do

I'm falling for you all over again.

Catch me.

Dinner Day 1

Missed dinner time so had to settle for this.

Lesson learnt?

Don't chat during dinner time!!

Day 1

Day 1 of class was a complete "OH MY GOD!! THIS IS REALLY THE DEEP END!!" ... or some sort of end cause I'm feeling like it's the end already :(

Prof Ken Mackie (Corps Law) is driving me nuts with his em... recent and most annoying tragic disability. He speaks from a machine through his throat and his constant clearing of his throat through the mic makes me feel uncomfortable for him! And there's Prof Gino (Law of Trusts), the raving word maniac. My hand writing is going to end up chicken scratching at this rate. Generally a paper kind off person but am seriously considering bringing in the laptop to type the notes considering the circumstances. 

On a different note, the computer lab computers hate me. No access till we were just about to leave for lunch (kena jb-ed by the comp.bleh..) Stupid iMacs. I'm a Mac user too. Went to check the mail for my debit master card and what do you know? I got jb-ed again. Out of the 4 of us who went to check, I was the only one that didn't get the card. And I applied earlier than two of them to boot. 

Well for now I've got this to keep me company:

Oh, did I mention I already have a 2k-3k Corps Law assignment assigned for us?

Yes, triple jb. Bleh...

Weird

1) Laundry makes me feel busy. WTH!?!? :P

2) I've finally after 3 days I think, eaten a proper full meal. Yes, missing food from home.

3) I finally have gotten my hands on a guitar!!heheh.. NOW it feels like my room :)

Simply Because

Don't feel bad. Don't apologize. I do what I do simply because I love you.

Home

I didn't know I'd actually be saying this (so soon too) but you know, I really do miss home the Malaysian food.

You Know

It's weird. You see her smile and laugh and you're really happy for her. For her smile. For her laugh. In the same moment, there's this "feeling". You feel a heaviness somewhere deep inside your chest. Why? Because you want to be the one that makes her laugh and smile that way but sadly, you're not. (Too bad mate) It's a tug of war between the heart and mind, one telling the other what to feel, what to think and what to believe. It's a constant struggle not to let it show, but history shows that my efforts do not suffice.

It's funny. Your mind tells you that it's okay, it does it's very best to rationalize the circumstances and convince you that this is nothing to be worried about. But the heart, this "feeling"..it doesn't budge. It stays on, somewhere inside, often emerging to interrupt the train of thoughts that race across the mind. The heart takes the better of you and you are plunged into a state of self-questioning and reflection. You try to pull a straight face, but it doesn't work. She sees right through. She says, "I love you lah."

It's crazy. Love that is. Michael Bublé has probably stressed that enough. In the midst of the pushing and pulling, you say a silent prayer, hoping and trusting that nothing would go wrong. Paranoia, that's what love can do to you. You think you can handle it, but when the time comes, you fall short..WAYYYY short. Under the cold starry night, you come to a realization, "...love is not self-seeking...love always trusts, always hopes...".

It's cold. The night air and breeze that blows over your face. Cold like the reality of you not trusting, giving up on hope, and being selfish. You quickly repent and curse at your lack of faith in her. You read the words "I love you lah" again. A sense of relief and lightness comes over you. You thank God that everything is alright and you reply her message in kind. As you pick up your laptop and proceed to move, you take a look at her and you know.

Here

It's fun here.

It's different here.

It's a new experience here.

It's going to be two years here.

It's gonna be freezing here.

It's home here.

I'm here.

2+2

This is it. It's great that I'm going with you. It really is.

Oh man...

Don't know how to start with the packing..really, where's your mom when you need her.bleh...

Blogging Again?

Maybe I'll just start blogging again :P